Browsing all posts in "bailout".

Let us Review

The external world is yet again revolting.  I will try to recap as much as I can.
Swine flu is a level six pandemic, the highest level possible. This is absolutely absurd considering they have not started to burn the corpses yet. Maybe they have in secrecy, but if that is the case then I am [...]

25 Billion Bailout to Automakers

I would like to propose a deal. Now the American automakers are bloated and inefficient if they cannot even run their business properly. Now my ideal situation is give me one billion dollars and I will create my own brand of car. Now I realize I know nothing about building cars or their inner mechanisms, [...]

Senate Pisses on the Corpse of Capitalism

So the Senate finally decided that investing in bad investments is a good idea, which in case you’re reading I have a magical stone that scares off sharks if you’re interested in it. So thank you Senate for making paper money even more worthless than it even is. Maybe eventually toilet paper will become more [...]

More government bailouts, I’m still missing my novelty check

Apparently the Federal Reserve Board decided it would be alright to loan AIG 85 billion dollars to prevent them from filing bankruptcy. The strange thing is AIG has 1.1 trillion in assets, but somehow can’t manage to find 85 billion dollars. Some would think that maybe they should sell off some of their assets and [...]

Accepting Global Warming

I say it’s time we welcome global warming with open arms. Also we stop trying to save our pitiful race from extinction. The dinosaurs went through a drastic climate change, and look how well it turned out for them. 45 trillion dollars!? Do you think I’m made out of valuable dinosaur skeletons? If a drastic [...]